There's no new news here. What were you expecting, Thom Blowkaw? This is just to show off the format of the page.

Dateline: IP Clinic, Marin County, California. Researchers announced today the results of an a 25 year study on the effects of napping in industrial and post-industrial nations. The study's outcome was clear—"for 92.5% of workers, an afternoon nap increases their productivity, and their creativity and problem solving skill." In layman's they not only get more done, but their work is better, too.

Antonia Will, Ph.D. and head of the prestigious MW Institute for Chronobiology, reported the findings at this week's Circadian Rhythm Kings Conference. Her study titled, Sleep cycle distortion through industrial work hours and its effect on productivity and just general crabbiness, was hailed as a landmark by the leaders of the scientific community.

"We studied behavioral, pharmacological and immunochemical techniques to understand how daily rhythms in mammals are regulated by photic and non-photic stimuli. We were equipped to record locomotor activity, drinking, feeding, body temperature and sleep in laboratory rodents, the closet thing we could find to modern-day workers."

When asked to say this again in English, Dr. Will replied, "If you had taken a nap you probably would have understood that. Sheesh. Look at those bags under your eyes."